"I Vetruse Lucia, one of the novices raped by Serbian militias. I write about what has happened to me and my sisters Tatiana and Sendria. Let me not give details. It was a horrible experience that can not communicate more than God, to whose will gave me when I devoted myself to Him three votes.
My drama is not only the humiliation I suffered as a woman, or irreparable offense made my life and career choice, but the difficulty in putting my faith certainly an event that is part of the mysterious permissive will of Him whom I continue considering my divine Spouse.
had read a few days before the Dialogues of the Carmelites, Bernanos, and I had arisen spontaneously ask the Lord to die a martyr. He took the floor, but how!. I am currently in an agonizing inner darkness. They have destroyed my life project "that I considered definitive, and suddenly I have set a new one yet I am unable to discover.
I write, mother, not to get a consolation, but to help me to thank God for having associated with thousands of my fellow-offended-and to accept unwanted pregnancies ...
My humiliation is added to the other, and I can only offer it as atonement for the sins committed by anonymous rapists and peace between the two conflicting ethnic groups, accepting the disgrace suffered and returning to God's mercy.
not be surprised that prompted me to share some thanks that might seem absurd. I cried in recent months all my tears for my two brothers, killed by the same aggressors who are terrorizing our cities. I could no longer suffer much more: I never thought the pain would reach such proportions.
At the door of our monasteries, called every day hundreds of famished creatures, with despair in his eyes. Last week, a girl of eighteen I had said, "lucky you, you chose a place where the military can not enter," and added: "You do not know what is the disgrace." I thought slowly and saw that it was the sorrow of my people, and I almost felt embarrassed to be excluded from their environment.
Now I'm one of them, one of many anonymous women of my people, with the mangled body and soul looted. The Lord has allowed me the mystery of shame is more, this sister of hers, has been granted the privilege to understand completely the evil force of evil.
I know that, from now on, the words of courage and consolation try to make my poor heart will be truly believed by the people, because my story is yours, and my resignation, sustained by faith, may serve, but for example, at least in comparison with their moral reactions.
Everything has gone, mother, but now everything begins.
In his phone call, after telling me words of comfort that you appreciate all life, made me you a question: "What will you do in life that you have been imposed in your belly?". I felt that my voice was shaking as I got this question that can not be answered immediately, not because he has thought about the choice he had to do, but because you did not want any trouble with my project decisions.
I've already decided: If I am a mother, the child is mine and no one else. I could trust other people, but he is entitled to my mother's love, even if not desired, dear. You can not start a plant root. The grain that has fallen into a land needs to grow there.
will realize my religious life, but otherwise. I ask nothing of my congregation, which has already given me everything. I am grateful to the fraternity of my sisters and their care, especially for not being bothered with requests prying.
I go with my son. I do not know where, but God, who has suddenly broken my greatest joy, show me the way I'll have to continue to do his bidding. I will
poor, will take up the old apron and I will use the Swedish women in workdays, and bring my mother to collect resin from pine forests of our great ... I will do everything possible to break the chain of hate that destroys our country. Al son that I hope will teach only love. My son, born of violence, will witness in my hand, that the only greatness that honors the person is forgiveness. "
+ &
'
0 comments:
Post a Comment